Hangover, 2158
by Hermia S
Summary: Tesla Shepard wakes to find herself mostly naked in Life Support with a hangover and an equally naked drell. She also soon finds out that Garrus Vakarian was 'misplaced' somewhere during the previous night. This is their journey to find him.
1. Wakey Wakey

Tesla Shepard's first thought when waking up in Life Support had nothing to do the fact that she was _in _Life Support.

Her first thought had nothing to do with the headache that felt like someone was driving a five inch blade into her cerebellum and twisting. It had nothing to do with the fact that she was sticky and smelled like something between artificial strawberries and salt. It had nothing to do with finding her legs tangled between the beautifully muscled thighs of Thane Krios. It also had nothing to do the fact that she was wearing Jack's nipple harness.

No, out of every thought that could have possibly passed through her mind at that moment, the only one that reached the forefront was, "_Whoa_."

She didn't realize she'd actually said it aloud until she saw the drell's eyes open mere inches away from hers. Blinking a few times, her own brown ones crossing slightly at their closeness, she mustered a lopsided smile, back arching in an attempt to put some distance between their faces. This only shifted her on his cot, bringing her hips forward until they met his.

Okay, not only was she in Life Support, sticky and smelly, with a hangover and an assassin lying mere inches away from her. The nipple harness was also the _only_ thing she was wearing. In fact, she'd venture to guess that it was the only thing either of them were wearing.

"Well, good _morning_."

Thane's lips twisted in a hint of a smile. His eyebrow ridges cinched together as he took a sharp intake of breath, his hand (which had been suspiciously hidden beneath the sheet that only sort of covered them) lifting to massage the skin there. Shepard winced in empathy, her own head giving a hearty pound to remind her that she was in pain if she'd forgotten.

"You, too?" she asked, voice much quieter this time. He nodded, deciding that doing such was a horrible idea only a moment later. Her eyes drifted downward, lingering over the thick black stripes on his shoulders and chest for a moment before reaching her own, much less impressive top half. While she wasn't stacked like Lawson, she was _definitely_ too big for this thing, as she was nearly popping out of it. Still, the sight itself wasn't that bad. Her knitted brows only came at the realization that she had utterly no idea how she'd ended up pulling this thing on. "Jesus H., what the hell happened last night?"

"I'm... not entirely sure." His confusion was punctuated with a chuckle, which was then followed by something that sounded like a strangled grunt. Even amusement hurt. Temporarily dejected, he let his head drift down again, eyes closing the moment he felt the pillow give way beneath him.

_Everything_ hurt, she realized after a moment. It wasn't just her head. There were muscles she hadn't stretched in years crying out for attention. The ones in her inner thighs, no matter how often they were... exercised, were aching just as badly as the rest. She had no idea what had happened. She knew _why_, but she didn't know how. Or what. Or when or exactly where. "Shit," she murmured, turning over onto her back and nearly falling off of the cot in the process. Her hand flung outwards, impacting the chair Thane normally sat in, effectively overturning what lay upon it.

A pair of sunglasses clattered to the floor, followed by his jacket and what appeared to be a large... orange... elcor?

"The hell..." Rubbing her palm against her forehead, she gathered herself up and stood, legs buckling for a moment beneath her weight. She caught herself at the last second before regaining her composure. Bending at the waist, she picked up the stuffed elcor and examined it closely, taking an unconscious step forward. Her utter bafflement came to a halt when she realized she was standing on something.

Moving her foot, she stared unblinkingly down at the floor. A credit chit. But whose? She didn't really see Thane as the sort of man to leave his chits hanging around the room willy nilly. Picking up the credit chit, she tossed the toy backwards and brought the unknown quantity up to eye level. It wasn't _just_ a credit chit. It was a very specific chit used to access a tab from the Nu Vegas club on the Citadel. A few clumsy finger strokes later, and she found herself gaping at it.

Three thousand credits.

She was just about to let out a string of curses when she heard the door to Life Support hiss open. Whirling around, she found herself face to face with Jacob Taylor. A very distressed looking Jacob Taylor. Or, at least, he looked distressed until his eyes traveled downwards.

Reaching out, Tesla grabbed for the sheet still covering Thane and yanked it in her direction, desperate to cover the fact that she was very, _very_ naked. A hand came down to grasp the sheet out of instinct, holding it in a stalemate between the two of them, their nakedness only enhanced by the barely there coverage. She barely managed a glare in his direction before she turned her attention back to Jacob, who appeared to be suffering from a similar ailment if the distant look in his eyes and the smudge of violet on his bottom lip had anything to do with it.

"What is it, Taylor?" she asked, credit chit still clasped in herhand.

"Garrus isn't on board."

Suppressing the urge to roll her eyes, she merely narrowed them. It still hurt. She _had_ to see Chakwas. Immediately. "Are you sure?" He nodded. "Has EDI checked the entire ship?" Again, he nodded, though he wasn't happy at all with this constant movement. "What about everyone else? Is everyone else okay?" Really, it _would_ be her luck to get everyone back safe from the Relay only to misplace someone once she was on the Citadel.

Jacob's expression altered, brows knitting together, as he ran over the crew list in his head. Everyone was accounted for. Well, everyone except Garrus. "No one remembers a thing, but they're all _alive_, if that's what you're asking."

"I have somewhere we can start looking," she said not long after, her eyes falling to the chit in her hand.

Oh, this was going to be _fun_.

* * *

**A/N:** And so part one of a planned seven is finished! The installments won't be very long, but this'll be updated frequently, if I have my way. This is what happens when I get a random plot bunny in the lovely NSAS. So, yes, extra special kudos to lyssalu for her general amazingness and lovin'. ;)


	2. How It Started

"I thought drell were supposed to have eidetic memories. Solipschism or whatever."

Tesla pressed her forehead to the leather-clad shoulder in front of her. The line leading into the C-Sec offices was utterly insane. She'd never seen it so busy, but of course it'd be busy on the one day she needed to get through all this mess as quickly as possible. Jacob stood at her hip, swaying impatiently, while Jack lingered at the very back, having come along because she had just as many questions as Shepard.

"Solipsism," Thane clarified. "And it's a very delicate situation." When she made a muffled 'hrmm?' sound against his arm, he continued, taking a short step forward as the line moved. "We absorb memories easily when our mind is clear, but – as if often the case with most other species' – excessive amounts of alcohol... tend to cloud things."

"That's just great."

"I am sorry I couldn't be of much help," he was quick to include, tilting his chin downward so he could look at her. Her forehead wrinkled as her eyes drifted upward to his without moving her mouth from where it was pressed to his shoulder. In an unconscious gesture, he ran a hand over her still mussed blonde hair. She went cross-eyed for a moment as she followed his hand, finally falling shut the moment she felt his fingers against her scalp. He was incredibly gentle; she was always surprised by that.

She shifted a little until her chin was resting on his shoulder instead, her shoulders slouched so far forward that she lost half a foot in height. "What _do_ you remember?"

All four of them moved forward mechanically when another person slipped into the Wards.

"There's a lot of color," he began, hands lacing in front of him now that he was satisfied with the state of Shepard's hair. "I vaguely remember winning something."

"The elcor?"

Thane chuckled. "I meant a match, but, yes, I won the elcor, as well."

"Do you remember what you were playing?"

He contemplated this for a moment, pulled into a thoughtful trance as he drifted forward once again. They were nearing Sergeant Haron's station. Once they were able to get through and talk to Bailey, at least _something_ would be solved. No doubt they'd be able to find Garrus within the hour. She was just hoping that no one had seen them the previous night.

"It was a fighting simulation," Thane said finally, his eyes following Shepard as she took a step forward to be scanned. The turian nodded to her, cordial, though his mandibles fluttered in a gesture Thane recognized as amusement. He knew something.

Tesla turned on her heel in the middle of the door, watching as Thane was scanned. Unsuccessfully. For the thousandth time. She bit back a grin when she heard Haron. "Still don't exist, I see." Her cheek twitched when she saw Thane's almost _smug_ smile. He moved forward with enviable grace despite what she imagined was one hell of a hangover, if it was anything like hers. "Lots of flashing lights. Fake blood." He paused, smug smile turning into a smirk. "I'm fairly sure I broke your neck."

"Charming."

The smirk changed entirely, shifting into something almost _boyish_.

Rolling her eyes, Shepard turned again, this time towards Bailey. He looked a bit worse for wear, and she realized what a terrible sign it was that her first thought included wondering if it had anything to do with her. Giving the skin between her brows a rub, she stalked forward until she was standing directly in front of his desk. He glanced up from his work.

"Afternoon, Shepard." Crossing his hands on his desk, Bailey leaned forward. The moment he looked up and saw her, she _swore_ she saw a smile twitch in the corner of his mouth. So he did know something. Excellent. "Something I can do for you?"

"I can't find Garrus," she murmured, an arm crossed just below her chest. "I figured you could help. Don't remember much."

Yep. There was definitely a smile. There was a smile, and she had to suppress the urge to smack it off of him. Why was this happening to her? Where had she gone wrong? She was the hero of the whole damn galaxy; she wasn't supposed to have horribly embarrassing stories about "that one time I got drunk on the Citadel and lost Vakarian." That shit was for Zaeed. She was important. She was supposed to be all _stately_.

Grimacing, she leaned forward, planting both hands onto the edge of his desk and staring at him, honey-hued eyes gone cold in a way he hadn't thought possible for such a color. Then again, the scars on her cheeks didn't do her whole image very many favors. "Look. I don't know what happened last night, but you probably do. Good. Fine. Enjoy that. I just need to find Garrus Vakarian. You think you can handle that?"

"I can do you one better," he said, completely unruffled by Shepard's sudden turn towards the intimidating. "I actually have some, ah, footage. Here, listen."

With a few strokes of the orange omni-board beneath his fingers, his terminal flashed blue. He'd thankfully turned down the volume far enough for only the four people gathered around the desk to hear. Shepard was too busy fuming, her thumbnail nearly giving way beneath her chewing, to hear the very beginning. She did perk up when she heard her voice.

"_I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite Citadel- on... the Citadel! Hah! Hahaha, **shit**."_ There was a pregnant pause. _"Hey! Hey, **Thane**. Don't give me that **face**. I'm clever as hell."_

"Damn, Shepard," she heard Jack murmur from her left. She sounded impressed.

This was beyond absurd. Sure, she was a partier. She'd always been into getting wasted and going out. It was part of being raised around a bunch of soldiers. But this- this had _never_ happened to her before. She always knew where she'd been, what (or who) she'd done, and there was never incriminating evidence. Or, at least, there hadn't been until now.

Behind them, they heard a bit of a shuffle, followed by an incredulous, "_Dad_?"

Thane tensed for a moment before glancing over his shoulder to find Kolyat standing not two feet away. Definitely close enough to hear the recording. He was already gaping, but his jaw went completely slack when he heard his father purr, "Mm, you're a _lot_ of things, Shepard," followed by a wet smack.

There was a tense silence that stretched out of nowhere. Well, relative silence, considering the continuous, quieter smacking noises leaving Bailey's terminal. Kolyat glanced back and forth between Shepard and Thane, black eyes wide. The two of them stared right back at Kolyat, completely unsure of what to say. Jack arched a brow at Jacob, who was too busy listening to the recording to even bother. This blanket of _nothing_ continued until the smacking stopped.

Tesla was just about to cross herself when she heard her voice again.

"_Lead the w-way, Krios. I wanna watch that fine ass from here all the way to the Normandy."_

The palm of her hand met her forehead with an audible smack, sending a shiver of pain down her spine. Ow. Shit. This was not good. If Bailey had this on hand, who else knew what had happened? There had to be witnesses. Witnesses with omni-tools. Witnesses who knew how to use the extranet.

"We're going to... go... look... for Vakarian. I think Nu Vegas might be our best bet for information, considering my tab," she murmured, turning to look at Thane, "Do you want to stay here? You wanted to talk to Kolyat, didn't you?"

Thane tensed for no longer than a heartbeat.

"No, I think it'd be best if I came along."


	3. Pink, Sparkley Stuff

Nu Vegas was certainly more than any of them expected.

Except maybe Jack.

Jack might've had the sense to realize how bad things got when they got bad.

Tesla's mouth hung open for a long moment as she watched a scantily clad male (she assumed) salarian slink past, the tail of his feather boa swinging off of a glitter-smeared arm. Pink; there was pink everywhere. The glitter was pink. The low-backed dress was pink. The oddly shaped heels were pink. There was, however, one discrepancy. From one of his curved horns hung a slender, golden-

"Was that salarian wearing a tiara?"

Thane blinked both lids simultaneously. "I believe he was."

"He?"

Shepard, Jack, and Thane all turned to look at Jacob, who held up his hands. "It's a legitimate question."

No matter how drunk they must've gotten while here – which was _very_, if she recalled the amount on her tab – there was still the question of how they arrived here in the first place. She certainly never came here when she was on shore leave. It didn't seem like Thane's sort of place, either. Jack was already getting visibly annoyed by the pulsing asari techno seemingly pouring out of the walls. And Jacob's complete surprise by the previous sight made it obvious he was innocent.

Zaeed seemed to prefer seedy, but not _this_ kind of seedy. The image of Tali actually recommending a place like this was almost laughable. Mordin was too classy, as was Samara. If Miranda gave up the information leading them here, she'd certainly like her a lot more, though that was the very definition of doubtful. Such a long walk from the docks would've annoyed Joker. While she knew Chakwas enjoyed a good drink, this hardly seemed like the sort of place she'd sit down in. Kasumi? Well, there was an option, but was she the kind of person to suggest _this_ place of all places? It wasn't likely.

That left one possibility.

Tesla swerved past a group of human males gathered near the entrance, not even bothering to glare at them when they didn't move, forcing her to shift them herself. She wasn't in the mood for this sort of thing. Not today. She could practically _hear_ Jack's biotics fizzing and popping behind her as they did the same to the much smaller, yet much deadlier woman behind her.

When she reached the bar, the bartender glanced up from her work, violet eyes widening at the sight of the man standing at the Commander's right. Shifting almost uncomfortably, Shepard appraised the human girl before turning and shooting an accusatory look at Mr. Taylor, only to see him frantically scrubbing at his bottom lip, as if the smudge of purple lipstick was still there. Short, slight build, dark hair, bright eyes. And she was holding a container of what she recognized as high quality asari liquor. Definitely Jacob's type.

She uttered a quiet, 'huh,' before turning back to the girl, her palms pressed flat onto the bar top. "Were you working here last night?"

The bartender looked puzzled. "Yes, I was; I served you all of your drinks."

Shepard heard Jacob give a quiet, almost celebratory, 'ah.' Most his questions had been answered. The others, however, were still mighty clueless, _especially_ her. "I'm here to pay my tab," she muttered, sliding the chit across the bar before following it with her own. "And I was wondering if you could tell us what happened?" Pausing, her jaw clenched. "_Exactly_ what happened?"

Grinning, the woman nodded, going about scanning the chits and handing them back to the illustrious Commander Shepard. "Well, you were celebrating. That much was obvious. You were here. She was here, too. And both of the guys were here." She paused, sucking a violet lip into her mouth in thought. "There was a turian, too. A quarian. A salarian. A few other humans." Then she nodded to herself, clearly proud for remembering all of the details.

"We've been busy _all_ afternoon thanks to you," she added, filling another glass and sliding it over the bar towards the barefaced turian standing a few feet away. His vibrant green eyes hadn't left her since she got there. "Everyone wants to come to the bar that served the savior of the galaxy. I feel bad having to deny everyone the opportunity to take body shots. They're not on the menu. I keep telling them that you were _improvising_, but they just don't listen."

Tesla's eyes widened. "What do you mean by _body shots_?" Of course she knew what she meant, but she wanted details.

And she was about to receive them when she saw a slight form all but flailing out of her chair a short distance off. "Commander Shepard?" the form called out in a familiar – a _very_ familiar – voice. "Commander Shepard!"

Turning around to face the approaching female, she offered the girl a small smile when she realized exactly who she was. The short black bob was a dead giveaway. The small, shapely body attached to it was a definite plus. "Well, well, Emily Wong. You here for damage control?"

"You know it," she replied with a grin, "I got a message from C-Sec telling me there was an _emergency_ in the Tayseri Wards. They didn't tell me until I got here that it was because you were licking krogan beer off of your friend's abs, and Udina was about to have a seizure." The last few words were twinged with amusement, as if sharing an inside joke with a friend, her dark eyes shooting over Shepard's shoulder to look towards Thane.

"So did he?"

"Did he what? Enjoy it? By that smirk on his face, I can bet that he-"

"No," Shepard chuckled, crossing her arms and shaking her head. "Did Udina have a seizure?"

Emily gave a snort of laughter. "No, but I'm fairly sure he had to be looked after by a medical official." She winced, holding a hand up to stop herself. "But that is strictly on a need to know basis, of course. Not to leave this bar... club... not to leave _this place_."

Tesla nodded, clearly understanding her meaning, her attention turning towards the omni-tool glowing on the girl's slender arm. She motioned to it. "I take it _damage control_ means you have video footage?"

"Confiscated from a very, _very_ ornery asari woman, mind you. Evidently she wanted to sell it."

"Oh dear."

"Hah! Yeah, that wouldn't have been good." Biting down on her bottom lip, a few strokes of her fingers and she'd already sent a message containing the video file to Shepard's private terminal. "So, is there anything I can help you with? You're not here for more drinks, are you?"

Grimacing, Tesla shook her head. "We're trying to find Garrus Vakarian. He wasn't on board this morning. We think we might have... lost him."

"Well, he was definitely _here_. With you all." She gave her chin a tap. "You mentioned something about kicking someone's ass... in the arcade. There's one not far from here; I don't remember the name, but it should be only a short walk away. Maybe you'll find some more information there? Someone might've seen him sneak off. Or he could still be there."

"Squandering all of his credits on whack-a-quarian," Tesla murmured, repressing the urge to roll her eyes. "Sounds like Vakarian alright." She reached out, giving Emily a pat on her shoulder. "Thank you for your help."

The reporter shook her head, smiling almost from ear to ear.

"All in a day's work!"


End file.
